.open arms for broken hearts.

I'm really loving this song right now.

The build and the break...the melody...the strings...that voice. Above all, the words.

If all music could be this extraordinary...

Open Arms - Elbow


You're a law unto yourself
And we don't suffer dreamers
But neither should you walk the earth alone
So with finger rolls and folding chairs
And a volley of streamers
We can be there for tweaks and repairs
Should you come back home
We got open arms for broken hearts
Like yours my boy, come home again
Tables are for pounding here
And when we've got you surrounded
The man you are will know the boy you were
And you're not the man who fell to earth
You're the man of La Mancha
And we've love enough to light the street
'Cause everybody's here
We got open arms for broken hearts
Like yours my boy, come home again
We got open arms for broken hearts
Like yours my boy, come home again
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
The moon is out looking for trouble
And everyone's here
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
The moon wants a scrap or a cuddle
And everyone's here
We got open arms for broken hearts
Like yours my boy, come home again
We got open arms for broken hearts
Like yours my boy, come home again
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
Come home again
The moon is out looking for trouble
The moon wants a scrap or a cuddle
The moon is face down in a puddle
And everyone's here

.happiness is.

Isn't it funny that the times in our lives when we focus more on (or are at least more aware of) happiness is when we are surrounded and saturated with grief? Like the C.S. Lewis quote about faith “We regard God as an airman regards his parachute; it's there for emergencies but he hopes he'll never have to use it.” While most of us would rather be happy than depressed, don't we take it for granted most of the time?

In the past 6 months, I've never had the question "What makes you happy?" asked of me more than I have in my life.

Some of you, at least, know the grief in my life and have shared with me, supported me and picked me up. The nature of my dad's disease requires a certain level of expectancy and just two years ago I struggled with watching my father deteriorate, knowing all the while that it was just the beginning.

After months of hospice and being told more than once that he wouldn't live through the night; after saying good-bye so many times I've lost count and letting go every single day, I am exhausted. The word doesn't seem large enough, but it's all I've got. My patience has been stretched and strained, my strength has been pushed to the brink and I've come face to face more than once with the person I truly am. It's been the toughest, most meaningful learning experience I've ever had and maybe ever will have.

It's defined me and I'm still learning what that means.

In all of this, though, what brings me back from the edge is to find the little things that make me happy. Reading, writing, talking with friends, crying with friends, laughing with friends, hugs, tea, solace, promises...music, driving with my windows down, walking in the rain, smiles on strangers, tossing a frisbee, jumping jacks, singing, hair cuts...reminiscing with my dad...crying with my mom.

There is happiness in the smallest most insignificant seeming moments. There is happiness in the sad moments. There is happiness in the loud and quiet.

We just need to look for it.


“I've learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.” ~Martha Washington