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A few months ago, inspired by her husband, Lauren began blogging about five defining moments in her life. After reading the first, it was difficult not to be inspired. So here I am. Attempting to do the same.

**If you're interested in Lauren's other defining moments (and you should be), they are here and here **

Looking into my life for those moments that shaped me wasn’t an easy task. By any means. But I’ll try not to let that stop me. (c:

Defining Moment #1:

Anyone who knows me knows that I went to Africa when I was 17 and that the experience changed me indefinitely. Of all of the amazing moments that I was granted during my time there, there was one that hit me to the core and changed my perspective on love.

The last full day that we were there, Melissa and I were in our room packing and getting things together for the trip home. After a while, a number of the kids began trickling into our room to spend time with us. Helen and Rose and their cousin were sitting on the floor telling stories, playing with each others hair and giggling. Timo was running around, like 4 year old boys are so good at. Melissa, Arthur, Jonathan and I were sitting on Melissa’s bed. Arthur and Melissa were reminiscing about our time there and Jonathan was sitting quietly next to me, his arm linked in mine and his head resting on my arm.

I was drinking in the moment. You know those moments that you wish would last forever? Those moments that you step back from and do your best to take in everything about it… This was one of those moments.

Helen was telling the girls a story. Her clear, high voice like a light in the room. She was very animated and the girls were smiling and laughing. She was speaking Lugandan, as she was still quite young and wasn’t entirely comfortable with English. I couldn’t understand a word, but I listened. Then Arthur’s voice broke into my reverie. Quiet and low. It made me think of the first day we’d arrived and how timid he’d been. In the weeks that we were there I had watched this shy, unsure boy slowly open up to us and he’d become our closest friend.
He and Melissa were talking. I can’t recall what they were discussing because I’m not even sure I was listening at that moment. It was their voices and their faces that were saturating my memory.

Then I felt something warm and wet on my arm. I looked down to see tears falling on my arm. Jonathan was crying.

He was only 5 and spoke no English. The entire time I was there our relationship was one of smiles and laughter, not of words. I looked to Arthur, who was sitting on the other side of Jonathan and I asked him to find out what was wrong. Arthur spoke with him for a few minutes then looked at me with a sad smile. “He’s going to miss you and he wants you to stay”, he explained softly.

I didn’t have words of comfort for Jonathan and he would not have understood them if I did, so I just wrapped my arms around him and held him. I don’t know how long we sat like that…sometimes it seems like it was a minute, other times, like it was an hour.

When I finally let go of him I looked into his face and smiled in an attempt to comfort him. He looked back at me and, with a voice strained with tears, whispered “Don’t go.”

My heart broke into a million pieces.

I had never seen a more tangible expression of friendship and love in my life. I learned that day that, at the core, friendships and trust don’t require words. They come with a language all their own.