I don't know if anyone else is like this, but I always struggle with the open-ended question of "How are you doing?" Mostly I just say "okay" because even if I'm having a shitty day, do
they really want to know that? Even worse is when I get "How is your dad doing/feeling/coping/etc.?" I struggle internally; do they really want the details...and if they want details, how much do I/should I/am I obligated to give. It's frustrating, but at the same time, have we been bred as a culture to ask a significant question so insignificantly?
I recently read this on
Nick Holmes' tumblr...(click to enlarge)
...just more proof of his awesome.
I've seen the gamut of responses when I actually
do share what is going on. Anywhere from genuine concern to shock to understanding to a subject change. If you don't
really want to know what is going on, should you even pose the question?
What are your thoughts?
...just more proof of his awesome.
4 comments:
I've found this a really interesting question to ponder - especially since I moved to Canada. It seems in North America "how are you?" tags onto the end of every "hello" without any real concern as to what the answer is - which is really quite sad. Though in England nobody asks how you are at all so I guess I shouldn't complain too much :)
It's a tough one - to most people, I wouldn't really want to share what's really going on, how I really am, if it's something bad - just because I'm not necessarily that close with them. I'll usually say "alright" instead of "good", if only to be polite and avoid engaging in deeper conversation with one I normally wouldn't. But if things are awesome I have no problem sharing lol :)
Well, I don't know if it's good or bad, but I kind of prefer the ol' English way in that no one asks...it wouldn't be much of an issue then, eh? (c: It's really interesting to hear your perspective as someone who didn't grow up in NA. You are quite right that it's almost a knee-jerk reflex or just said without thinking. And it really is sad.
I'm certainly with you on being happy to share the amazing and hesitant to share anything bad, especially with someone I don't know.
Thanks for sharing!! (c:
I think about this daily at my job. I answer phones, and I am regularly asked how I'm doing or how it's going. Rarely, do I get a complete word in before the caller moves on to something else. It perturbs me that people use the phrase "hey, how are you?" as a greeting without expecting or desiring any answer.
I'm like you, Steph, (no surprise there) in that if I'm going to ask, I mean I want to know. People are often taken aback when I actually look them in the eye and wait for their response.
That's because you're actually genuine. Just one more reason (of the many) that make you one of my favorites. (c:
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