.busy bee.

Thought I'd share just a couple of photos from the myriad of shoots I've done this past month.

Once I have a chance to wade through it all, I'll post more.

Impromptu shoot at St. Mark's with jpb. So much fun.


The Brinkman's at Red Rocks. So cold, but they handled it like champs.


This was my second shoot with the Stocker's this year. Love these 3 so much and I'm looking forward to meeting the 4th member of the band. (c;

I love this picture of Jason and Abbey...

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When the bold branches
Bid farewell to rainbow leaves -
Welcome wool sweaters.
~B. Cybrill

11.11. - The Big Picture

Yesterday was Veterans Day, or Armistice Day, when on the "eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month", in 1918, the armistice was signed for the cessation of hostilities on the Western Front at the end of World War I. The date is now observed by many of the allied nations from that era as Veterans Day, Armistice Day, Remembrance Day or Poppy Day - a day set aside to commemorate the sacrifices made by those in the armed forces and their families. Collected below are photos of Veterans and Remembrance Day from the United States and several Commonwealth nations.

Veterans Day 2010 - The Big Picture - Boston.com

all the time in the world

this song has worked its way under my skin in the past couple of days.
and i'm okay with that.

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Do the thing you fear the most and the death of fear is certain ~ Mark Twain

awake my soul

After months of anticipation, Whitney, Erin and I finally got to hear the fantastic Mumford boys live.

It. was. fantastic. I mean...ridiculous fantastic. There are no words.

However, as someone who enjoys taking pictures, I can provide you with at least 1,000 {click for larger view}


silhouette

Ben . Marcus

Ted

Winston


If you'd like to see more...

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did i mention that i love autumn?

also...less than a week till mumford {swoon}

.what sarah said.

"It’s not that we have to quit this life one day, it’s how many things we have to quit all at once: holding hands, hotel rooms, music, the physics of falling leaves, vanilla and jasmine, poppies, smiling, anthills, the color of the sky, coffee and cashmere, literature, sparks and subway trains... If only one could leave this life slowly!"
— Roman Payne


In the vein of doing things outside of one's comfort zone and taking risks, I'm going to do something I do rarely and get a bit personal. And by a bit, I mean a lot.

I saw the quote above yesterday on my google homepage (yes, I'm a nerd and I get daily literary quotes) and it produced a pretty visceral response from me. While lovely in it's prose, it struck a nerve to the point that I actually wanted to talk about it on this forum. I don't know to what extent anyone else has dealt with death and loss, but I do know that not a single one of us is immune to the harsh reality.

I think I have a unique view of loss (or losing someone) in light of my father's condition. Watching someone you love slowly deteriorate is not something I'd wish on anyone. Ever. It's not something I can talk about (or write about) with ease, but I'm beginning to understand the necessity of facing the messy reality and embracing it...pushing thru it rather than letting it control what I do and don't do.

From an outsider's perspective, I've had to watch my father lose things that were important to him slowly but surely. I had to watch the devastation when he could no longer manipulate his hands to play his guitar. I watched as his ability to walk went from short distances, to across the room, to 2 steps to non-existant. I watched him lose his ability to scratch his nose and his ability to feed himself. Most recently, I had to watch as he came to terms with losing the ability to eat at all and I watch as he struggles to keep his ability to speak.

I struggle with the selfish need to want my father around and the task of letting him go. Losing him would be difficult, but we could at least start to heal; a new wound every day is beginning to wear my resolve.

I for one would be relieved at the loss of everything all at once.

Fear is just a four letter word

The lovely Emily Jane wrote a blog recently on facing your fears. She has taken a huge step in facing her fear of singing in public and has started taking lessons. She went into it with much trepidation but came out of her first lesson with unexpected confidence in her abilities (you should read the story in her own words, it's pretty awesome).

I too, have a huge fear of singing in public. In my car, in the shower, in my room...never a problem. But ask me to sing you that song that is stuck in my head and I'll just spout words. With encouragement from some of my friends, I have been participating in the choir at my church and have been enjoying it a lot, but singing in a group is safe. No one could pick my voice out of the crowd and I took comfort in that.

I had a bit of a wrench thrown at me this weekend and was challenged to confront my fears. I was scheduled to play the bass this weekend and we actually had a really low-key kind of set up planned; it was essentially an "acoustic" set with just Jason leading and playing guitar, Chelsea singing harmony and playing rhythm guitar and me on the bass. As we were practicing today our sound guy, Sean, pointed out that the particular song that we were doing would be better with 2 back ground vocalists. Jason just looked and me at said "I'm cool with it if you're cool with it." At first I wanted to cop out and try to convince them that Chelsea's voice was enough, but Emily's situation popped into my head. I'm never going to move forward or improve if I don't take the risk of doing something completely outside of my comfort zone regardless of my chances of crashing and burning.

Practice went okay despite a few fumbles trying to get used to singing and playing at the same time, and Sean, Chelsea and Jason were very encouraging...but I was still literally shaking; I felt like it was so bad that everyone would be able to see my hands shaking.

Walking out on the stage before service kind of felt like a death march and starting the first song was almost agonizing, but after we made it through the first song I started to relax a bit and I just let the music flow. The second song was easier and by the third I was feeling pretty good. It wasn't until the third song that I realized that my microphone wasn't even turned on. Nice work, Steph. It just goes to show you that sometimes we worry for nothing.

We have 3 more services tomorrow and I'm actually looking forward to tackling the nerves. If I mess up, that's just a lesson learned, right? Right.


It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, "Always do what you are afraid to do." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Lions and Tigers and Tyrannosaurs, oh my.

another list from McSweeney's that had me giggling like a little girl.

8 REASONS WHY A TYRANNOSAUR CAUGHT IN A TORNADO IS A FUNNY THING TO THINK ABOUT

1. The tiny flailing arms

2. The helpless "RARRRRRR!"

3. The angry, wild-eyed expression

4. That dinosaur with the sail on his back floats by and he's just crusin'

5. The landing

6. The Wizard of Oz music playing in the background. What an anachronism!

7. Tyrannosaurs inhabited the Western United States, an area of the country known for its heavy tornado activity. Statistically speaking, it is probable that the scenario in question actually happened at least once. In this, as in all enduring comedy, there is a grain of indubitable truth inside the humor.

8. "RARRRRRR!" Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! "RAAAARRRRRRRRRR!"

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I'm really brave...I had to get really close to this guy to get his picture.

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from today's photo shoot with jill.

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To sit in the shade on a fine day, and look upon verdure is the most perfect refreshment. ~ Jane Austen

Pictures

I had 2 portrait sessions last weekend; first, the Clair clan and I hiked around the lake near their house and had a ton of fun! The next day, I got the chance to take maternity pictures of the lovely Leah Rohwer and her husband Mark. (c:

Thought I'd share some of the moments we captured.

First, the whole Clair Family; Jed, Kaziah, Loua, Dave, Eirene and Tryphena (plus their super cute dogs)


The kids






Next up, Mark and Leah...and the baby girl (c;





We had to do the obligatory hands on tummy make a heart...


...and because I'm a nerd (and because they were willing to put up with my nerdiness)...Live Long and Prosper. (c:

underneath it all

I don't know if anyone else is like this, but I always struggle with the open-ended question of "How are you doing?" Mostly I just say "okay" because even if I'm having a shitty day, do they really want to know that? Even worse is when I get "How is your dad doing/feeling/coping/etc.?" I struggle internally; do they really want the details...and if they want details, how much do I/should I/am I obligated to give. It's frustrating, but at the same time, have we been bred as a culture to ask a significant question so insignificantly?

I recently read this on Nick Holmes' tumblr...(click to enlarge)
...just more proof of his awesome.

I've seen the gamut of responses when I actually do share what is going on. Anywhere from genuine concern to shock to understanding to a subject change. If you don't really want to know what is going on, should you even pose the question?

What are your thoughts?

kickin' it really old school

Oh my, how I do love McSweeney's. Their random lists generally give me something to giggle at and make my day a little better, but this list I read today was so spectacular that I had to share. (c:

RAP LYRICS OF THE (17)90's
BY CHLOE FILSON

- - - -

"To an extreme degree, I have amplified my voice and thus my sentiments—much as a vandal might."

- -

"Would that I were of greater stature, and could participate in the frivolities of the future."

- -

"The music I have created resounds loudly in my ears, causing me to offer a brief prayer of gratitude for the blessings given by my Lord and Saviour."

- -

"At one time, whilst reposing at my leisure—indeed—what, ho! I beheld that which did not accord with reason."

- -

"Before you are the mechanisms of amplification, and the amplification process is underway. Let us not squander our time; I urge you to appreciate the verses, herein amplified, which in their melody and metre naturally provoke jumping. Thus, jump, as you will."

- -

"I admit to a predilection for certain female attributes—to put it precisely, yet with due regard for delicacy, the buttocks. You other fathers shan't deny it."

- -

"Birthed and reared in West Philadelphia, the days of my childhood and early youth were spent in the wildernesses just beyond our village, where my companions and I passed many an hour roaming free and frolicking, oftentimes playing ball sports in the proximity of the schoolhouse. I recall a certain occasion on which two wastrels came upon us, interrupted our pursuits, caused a general ruckus, and incited a fray. Upon my honour, had I not been bested by these mongrels, no doubt my loving mother would not have laid her heavy hand and decided my future in such an immovable manner as she then did. Her words, as I recollect, were 'Get thee to Bel Air forthwith, where you will live with your aunt and uncle in peace, and whence you will return only when you have become a man, noble as any other.' Alas! What choice had I, but to summon a cab and depart from that dear childhood home? How strange it was to see that the approaching buggy appeared to be painted with nonsensical lettering and festooned with the symbols of gambling and sin. Yet I disregarded it and considered it a rarity. 'To Bel Air, if you please' said I to the cabbie as together we heaved up my trunk. At perhaps seven or eight of the clock, after some hours of evening travel, the buggy came to a halt at the entrance of a grand house. After bidding the driver farewell, I regarded my new lodgings. Here would I be educated. Here would I learn my place in the family. Here would I reign, in a sense, as the new prince of Bel Air."

- -

"Huzzah! There it is."

1940s color slides

These are cool; color slides from the 1940s

Check out the real life Rosie the Riveter...image #66. That's pretty badass.

.football.

Some fantastically amazing shots from the Big Picture of the World Cup...they are extraordinary whether you like soccer or not. I love love love love love the last shot in the series.

2010 World Cup comes to a close - The Big Picture - Boston.com

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...

there will come a time, you'll see
with no more tears
and love will not break your heart,
but dismiss your fears.
get over your hill and see
what you'll find there
with grace in your heart
and flowers in your hair.

...

M & S

Unpopular Proverbs

If your sense of humor is anything like mine (or your name is jill), you'll enjoy Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs by the geniuses at McSweeny's.

Here's a little taste:

MOTION.
A rolling stone gathers no moss. Except for briefly employed 1962 Stones drummer Tony Chapman, who used to like to take long walks through the Lake District and gather moss, lichen, and algae samples. Huge moss gatherer.

RECIPROCITY.
It takes two to tango at the Tuesday-night beginning dance class at Walton Community College, unless you don't have a partner, in which case the teacher will match you up with one, but then you'll feel like a total loser who's there to meet other singles and fill up your Tuesday nights and not really because you want to learn the tango—and Tuesday's a pretty good night for TV now, so just stay home and paper over your loneliness with two straight hours of Glee.

NECESSITY.
Necessity is the mother of Invention, but the two have had a strained relationship ever since Necessity snubbed Invention's wife, Creativity, by not sending her a separate Evite to the family reunion, so when you meet Necessity, don't start off by saying, "Oh, you're Invention's mom!"

STOICISM.
There's no use crying over spilled milk, unless you're stranded in a desert and that milk was your only remaining liquid, but even then, the crying may further dehydrate you and the salty tears will find their way into your mouth and exacerbate your thirst, so, on balance, it still makes sense not to cry.

UNITY.
A house divided against itself cannot stand. Wait, I forgot about duplexes. Duplexes are the exact literal definition of bifurcated housing. God, I can be such an idiot sometimes.

DECEPTION.
Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me; fool me three times, and we're probably playing the party game "Yes, Foolin'!" in which players rack up points to become "Fool of the Hill" by fooling each other shamelessly.


For more awesomeness, click here

Hu.larious.

work. write. work.

My mom and I recently had a discussion about my current position in life and what I'm doing for work; I really, really, really dislike my job...really.

Working for an accounting firm is hardly stimulating to someone who tends toward the artistic. It's not that I'm not capable when it comes to a linear, black and white way of thinking, but I'm certainly not challenged nor am I motivated in this type of situation. I thrive and flourish in a creative setting.

The solution seems simple, yes? Find a job in a creative field. But for me, I don't think the answer is as simple as that.

I went to school for photography, knowing how much I love to use my creativity; why not make a carreer out of it? The problem I'm running into, however, is the more I make money with my photography, the more I loathe it.

There are plenty of photographers who make a living by using their creativity and while I'm sure some of them get burned out, I haven't heard of many who begin to hate the craft. I don't know...maybe I haven't spoken with enough photographers to get real insight.

The only conclusion that I can come to, at least personally speaking, is that I feel like I'm prostituting my emotions. Sounds severe, but let me explain; my creativity (i.e. photography and writing) is my emotional outlet. I know this is the case for most (read: all) artists, but being that I'm bad at expressing my emotions, it tends to be my only outlet.

So, I'm stepping back from photography...at least as a career. It will continue to be something that I create and share, but I can't continue doing it for a living...at least at this point in my life.

I've been writing more lately, even posting a little on my writing blog (tho it has tended toward the severely depressing lately). When my mom suggested writing as a career, it made me cringe just a little; writing is just as much (if not more) of an emotional outlet for my emotions as photography.

So, back at the drawing board, I think I'm going to go back to school. Physical therapy is what I'm continually drawn toward, but I want to be sure...I don't want to go to school yet again and have it come to naught. My personal situation has given me a unique perspective on care-giving and I know that it's something I could be good at; at least I could come home from work with a feeling of accomplishment. That's the main reason I hate my current job; I feel like I haven't contributed to the world around me.

I don't like that feeling.

.hello.

Another fantastic photographer to follow? That'd be Alison Garnett. She is incredibly talented and she shoots with a Diana a lot...so...score. (c:

All of her other projects can be found here.


Enjoy!

.fundraiser.

For those of you who weren't aware that I was doing a fundraiser for my dad, here is a nifty link to the blog that explains all. (c:

.slacker.

why yes. yes i am.

hey kids, sorry for being so completely MIA for...well, i guess you could say all of 2010. this is partly due to life circumstances, partly to no internet access at home. poor excuses, i'm sure, but you'll just have to deal. (c:

sorry to say that this is not going to be a huge revelation or even a fun picture/music post. i just wanted to let you know that i hadn't forgotten about my blog and i'll be back soon...i swear.

to help you fill the void in the mean time, here is a link to a photographer who i really enjoy (and he's really good at posting daily!). his name is sam jevanrouh, he lives in canada and he has a seriously amazing eye; finding beauty in the mundane. hope you like him as much as i do.

click here!

man of steel

ah, Superman. you're the best.



some great work by francis manapul

shake it.

skippity do dah! i'm happy.

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encore.